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Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
Sep 17, 2025
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and halfway closed there after.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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