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Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
Sep 10, 2025
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.
I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
One should eat to live, not live to eat.
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, 'You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.'
Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
Eat as much as you like-just don't swallow it.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.
Once you have to start counting calories, it takes away from the joy of eating.
The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.
It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet.
Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.
When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
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