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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
Sep 10, 2025
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
Man has will, but woman has her way.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Sometimes the way to a man's heart is through his talleywacker.
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman.
Shipping magnate of the 20th century If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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