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The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.
Sep 10, 2025
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I remember my fourth grade teacher reading 'Charlotte's Web' and 'Stuart Little' to us - both, of course, by E. B. White. His stories were genuinely funny, thought provoking and full of irony and charm. He didn't condescend to his readers, which was why I liked his books, and why I wasn't a big reader of other children's' books.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Halfway down the stairs, is a stair, where I sit. There isn't any, other stair, quite like, it. I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top; So this is the stair, where, I always, stop. Halfway up the stairs, isn't up, and isn't down. It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town. And all sorts of funny thoughts, run round my head: It isn't really anywhere! It's somewhere else instead!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When the going gets tough, the tough get a librarian.
When the going gets tough, the tough eat ribs.
When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a nap.
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Don't take life too seriously.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
I either wrote at the end of the night or sometimes in the morning. Sometimes they were full entries, or others I just wrote notes about things that happened that day or funny thoughts I'd had. If I had a truly eventful day, I'd take the time to write it all down in great detail. I edited a lot of content out once it was all finished - there was way too much, and I didn't want to bore anyone. I like to keep the book [Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries] moving at a fast pace.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
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