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Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Sep 10, 2025
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I like visiting LA, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't somebody watching.
If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
The more you complain the longer God lets you live
The second mouse gets the cheese!
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
God created whammy bars for people who don't know how to solo.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
Get the hell out of my way!
You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.
Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.
When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Aging is for people who don't know any better.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
The road to hell is paved with leeks and potatoes
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.
The road to Hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.