Funny But True Quotes

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.

In the fashion industry, everything goes retro except the prices.

When a hunter is in a tree stand with high moral values and with the proper hunting ethics and richer for the experience, that hunter is 20 feet closer to God.

To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.

India is not, as people keep calling it, an underdeveloped country, but rather, in the context of its history and cultural heritage, a highly developed one in an advanced state of decay.

Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off. Because if not, how boring would that be?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Dear America, I suppose we should introduce ourselves: We're South Louisiana...You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange music and eat things you'd probably hire an exterminator to get out of your yard. We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly, we're suspicious of others who don't.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It's funny, isn't it? We take a day a year to dress up in costumes and celebrate fear.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!