Happy Divorce Quotes

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events anyone goes through.

In our family we don't divorce our men - we bury them.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again.

Live with the objective of being happy.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.

My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced - when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

For a couple with young children, divorce seldom comes as a "solution" to stress, only as a way to end one form of pain and accept another.

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.

A society's apprehensiveness about divorce is an expression of its fear of change and of its resulting desire that personality remain unvarying.

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

Winning isn't the end of the world

Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.

A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.

I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

Thank God you can flee, can escape from that massy five-foot-thick maggot-cheesy solidarity which overlays the earth, in which men and women in couples are ranked like ninepins.

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving.

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.

Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.